Is David's birthday. David hasn't bought toilet paper, soap, shower gel, shampoo, washing detergent or anything but beer and Super Valu fish pies in SIX MONTHS. He owes me €90. He washes up about once a month. As everyone knows, your birthday is a time for your friends to do mean and generally malicious things to you and pass it off as birthday mischief. What I want to know is, what can we do David to correctly celebrate* his ascension to the stellar heights of twenty-two years? I'm thinking making him clean the inside of our oven (AKA 'House of Burnt Cheese') or making him lick the wall of our mouldy bathroom.
All suggestions and/or offers to lend us something disgusting to pelt him with will be much appreciated.