Sunday, December 14, 2008

If ya like it then ya shoulda put a ring on it

What do I want for Christmas? Little ol' me? Why, nothing! World peace and harmony maybe, or universal suffrage. And a surprise. Naw, seriously. I'm easy to buy for, I like everything. Ya wanna know what all the kids are getting this year? Engagement rings. Srsly. And alarmingly longsighted wedding plans. 2010? Ya know what happens in 2010? I'll be 27 first of all, so that'll be a huge downer. Also, trillions of my acquaintances are getting hitched. 2010 my friends? I actually have trouble getting excited about anything that is not happening RIGHT NOW THIS INSTANT so I feel literally nothing regarding your wedding. As my ever-graceful mother said: 'Crikey. 2010? Why, to fuck? I swear to God, I've never had a wedding, nor has your father, and it's looking like neither of ye girls will ever either, but I promise you, if you do, and the way I find out about your engagement IS NOT you ringing me and announcing that your wedding has just taken place in a foreign city somewhere, I SWEAR TO GOD: I'll murder you.'

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


"Older meanings of FTW

Years ago, "FTW" used to have a very negative meaning: "f**k the world". This was a term commonly used by social rebels, anarchists and anti-authoritarian types to express frustration with modern society."

This is exactly what I thought it did stand for. Oh.

Thursday, December 04, 2008 Some find it diverting

This took me FOREVER to find my favourite one. I find it kinda amusing that the words 'shit', 'Lucy' 'like' and 'seriously' pop up most frequently. Haw-haw, I have no vocabulary! Kinda amusing, not hugely so. I'm not completely dense, despite repeated evidence to the contrary.