I have just heard a rumour that Jack White married the red-headed model [Karen Elson is her name apparently. I doubt the veracity of this though. I mean, Karen! Who's called Karen nowadays?] from his Blue Orchid video in Brazil last week. A REDHEAD. I mean,...? I may have to recant all my previous pledges of love and devotion if he persists in acting in such a reckless and downright stupid manner. What WAS he thinking? Does he want to perpetuate the race or summat?