I recant

That's it. I am calling off all barbeques. Jenny has just alerted me to the fact that if I host a barbeque I am expected to a) buy food; b)pay for it myself; c)stay sober enough to cook it without setting fire to my hair. NO DEAL. I was envisioning a big soulful get-together with loads of good-looking people bringing their own tasty food and me break-dancing. Sort of like a KFC ad essentially. Not loads of dodgy looking people (AKA my social circle) sitting around my garden drinking cans of cider and me being stuck in the kitchen cooking charred burgers on the grill because I can't work the barbeque. So don't turn up at my gaff expecting this. It's not happening. Instead, I will buy one tube of pringles and get drunk on warm beer and lie on my back lawn. Like every other weekend. Party down!