Scene: Lucy's Mother's kitchen. Dinner is served. Lucy and Mother are seated at kitchen table eating. Bored looking cocker spaniel sleeps in the corner.
Lucy:...yeah, so, Jenny Len's young fella gave me a lift home last night-
Mother: Jenny has a boyfriend?
Lucy: Yeah, I told you that, I thought- Ross, he's LOVELY.
L: What was that noise for?
L: Right, so-
M: It's just that I was thinking about how neither you and Sally have boyfriends.
L: Neither do you, to be fair.
M: That's different.
L: How, exactly?
M: It just is. Why DON'T ye have boyfriends, though?
L: I dunno, do I.
M: Too fussy, I expect. Too high standards.
M: No, I meant with Sally. You're hardly beating them off, are you. Dunno what's wrong with you, actually.
Now. She would NEVER say this to Sally. Mainly because Sally spends more time on her appearance than the Egyptians did on the pyramids and to insult her would be to question the entire concept of hard work and perseverence paying off one day. Point is, I have to get cracking on this boyfriend thing before she writes me off as a dyke and leaves all her money to Sally's future children.