I am just back from the shoe department in Brown Thomas on Grafton Street and let me tell you, I am not impressed with what I saw there. Rich people's shoes are pretty much the same as the rest of our shoes! This whole designer shoe malarky is a con, and I'm calling time on it. Alright, they're made of divine, supple leather and suede, studded with gems and satin ribbons and graciously stamped with an elite logo, but really, what have you done for me lately? Scuppered, Mr Jimmy Choo! You've flogged your last betassled, jewel-encrusted stiletto, Mr Gucci! Prepare to see the Moschino empire fall to pieces, all on the basis of my word!