Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Aye, me!

Oh dear. It looks like I do have bronchitis. This is terrible. How can I look Aoife in the eye again, knowing that she has been right about something? Also, I now have to monitor the colour of my mucus to make sure I am not dying a horrible, phlegm-soaked death. Nobody else would notice if I died anyway. Except maybe when the rubbish starts to pile up and they realise I haven't been putting out the wheelie bin.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

having read your link about bronchitis do you not feel that you are being a touch melodramatic? are you an oap? it is therefore unlikely to kill you. have you been smoking lots? that is more likely to be the cause - or if you have given up that is even more likely to be the cause - its cos your lungs are clearing.

i also reckon a phlegm soaked death would be much like drowning and i reckon you being of a slight intelligence may be able to recognise such a problem and see your doctor.

Linus said...

The problem is, they wouldn't notice the Wheelie Bin not being left out. What with the itemised bin charges, people aren't going to be putting out bins so often, so your exquisite corpse might lie undetected till the space year 2414.

On the plus side, you won't have to pay the bin charges.

Lucy said...

Linus, you dolt. I meant the people I LIVE WITH wouldnt notice I was dead until the rubbish started to mount up. I fear the bin-collecting men are completely indifferent to my living or dying despite my best efforts to make friends with them. Ah, well.

Linus said...

A thousand apologies. I was convinced that your roommates too would ignore your plight, and it'd be up to some other agent to care for your spasming cough wracked frame. My friends would ignore me after all.

Lucy said...

Er, right. You're supposed to keep that knowledge hidden. Being a pathetic loser, widely despised by all you know is something you should really keep to yourself.

Linus said...

Well, I didn't post it on my site , I posted it on yours.

here I am faced with a dilemma. I can say I posted it here because I knew everyone would read it on my site, making me into an egomaniac, or I can say I posted it here as a complicated confessional to all, because no one would read it on my site. It's a toughie, but I think I shall go with the former, but sob softly, knowing in my heart it is the latter. Oh WOE, etc.