Lucy's hand sees internet premiere: Let the healing begin

Noreen signed my hand last night. In the middle of the pub. It says 'Noreen luvin Lucy xxx', by the way. This fine lassy is another UCD prodigy. Then I was on my way back from the loos and I had learned some dastardly piece of gossip on my way which I just had to tell her. Unfortunately the girl I grabbed and squealed at wasn't Noreen. A normal person might be embarrassed. Not me, I don't have morals. Or feelings. Or any discernable traits of humanity like realising when I'm behaving poorly.

I just said 'Oh darling, I thought you were Noreen!' Everyone knows Noreen. She just stared at me as if I was the most boring person on the whole planet. No one gets away with that. So I crossed my arms and gave her the hard stare. 'What's wrong with you? Noreen is one of the best-looking people I have ever seen in the flesh. And she autographed my hand. Me thinking you look like her, it's a fucking compliment, bitch.' She just gave me a bitchy open-mouthed look and I scooted off.

I have some thoughts you know. Sometimes I muse on the Big Stuff. And some times I worry about becoming the girl that everyone thinks is a drunken arse. Then I get over myself and get another drink. I'll worry about that when I hit twenty-four.