- Driving lessons. Yipp-fuckin-ee. So I can learn to drive faster and be able to pick up my mother from pubs.
- A haircut. Because I love them so much.
- A pre-scratched scratch card, from my beloved sister. She scratched it for me to save my arthritic fingers. Thanks Sal!
- A free pack of crisps, from my father. From the shop he works in. And the promise of a free dinner. Score.
- A card with a picture of a girl reading a book on from my aunt Mercy. 'I'll settle up with you later.' Cue Mercy avoiding me for the next twelve months.
That is IT. Oh yes, I have the promise of a few free vodkas on the weekend but does it suffice? A few BOTTLES of vodkas wouldn't do me, let me tell you. Look at all I have done for the internet community! For the world! I got Kara and Ken together, I'll have you know. I still haven't recieved delivery of any crates of booze for that little favour.
Piss to that. There's a bottle of sparkling wine with my name on in the fridge.