How was your Mothers day? Mine was horrendous. I woke up half pissed and fully clothed in Aoife’s bed and had to ring the mother for a lift home. Me and the mother are fighting at the moment, when she remembers to. Our fights consist of me calling her Kate and smoking and her leaving rooms when I enter. Passive agression is inherited.
Because we were fighting on Saturday evening I went into the chemist and asked for the largest set of anti-wrinkle creams they had. Then I gave it to her for Mother's Day. Just to teach her a lesson. REARING YOUR CHILDREN HAS STOLEN YOUR YOUTH, OLD WOMAN. Oh, it sounds evil now but at the time it was merely a bit snide. My sister ran into a supermarket on her way home and bought instant coffee and marmalade. 'It is posh marmalade and posh coffee,' Sally insisted.
'I love it!' my mother said, 'it shows so much thought and everything.'
'Yes, Kate' I said. She left the room. What she doesn’t know is that I bought myself the We are Scientists album with her itunes account. Har-de-har-har, Kate. Until her Visa bill comes in at least.