Thursday, February 03, 2005

I, Being Born A Woman and Distressed

I have reached a new low. Yesterday evening, tricked into believing I was going to be seeing group naughtiness and sexual dilemmas in Closer, I met Marie and Claire outside the Savoy on O'Connell St. They were nearly an hour late and I was ten minutes early, which is an unusual occurrence (me being early that is; Marie is always late) so I was mightily pleased to see them.

'What ho, young pals!' I hallooed cheerily at them. Malice sparkled in their eyes. 'What are you smirking about then, turds?' I queried, polite as ever.
'Claire's seen everything else, so we have to see-'
'-Meet the Fockers.' Finished Marie.
'Everything? You've seen everything?'
'Yup!' Lied Claire promptly to a look from Marie.

I tried to persuade them to leggit up to UGC to see A Very Long Engagement with me but they just shook their heads sadly. 'I am too tired to walk all the way up there!' Whined Marie. 'I'm up since ten!' Bloody students. So I had to see Meet the Fockers. In my usual passive aggressive manner, I bought myself a big bag of peanut M&Ms and ate them all scowling at Marie and Claire and refusing to share. As a result of all the scowling and scoffing of chocolate, I felt pretty sick on the way out of the cinema.

'Look at her struggling to think of something critical to say about it!' Crowed Marie. 'You can't think of anything, can you? Because you liked it!' I had no choice but to nod quesily and try and suppress my nausea. That's another revenge plot thwarted by M&Ms.

Upon arriving home I discovered to my alarm David and Burt very cosily ensconced in front of The Terminal. They informed me that they had been food shopping- together -that day, bought toilet paper and toothpaste (enough of a shock in itself), and had taken the brave step of cementing their relationship by getting a Dunnes Club Card. Together. As a couple. Do you see why I am disturbed by this?

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