Thursday, February 17, 2005

The Commoners Have Let Me Down

Ahem. Am I not getting something here? Last night, thrilled with the realisation that my mother would be away in Paris for the weekend (note: She booked it in December. Lucy's realisation comes Feb 16th. One wonders how I get up in the morning) I swiftly formulated a plan to throw a party in my parent-less homestead this weekend. Trembling with anticipation (and the cold, heating not yet back on) I put my thumbs to work immediately. 'Party in my gaff this Sat. You are invited. Bring bottle of vodka. And whatever you're having yourself' I texted off to a half dozen intimate acquaintances. Replies? None. Three hours later Kathy texted back to say she had 'college work to do'. Yeah right, more like a rival party to attend. Since then, nothing. Does nobody get it? I don't give parties very often. And when I do, invites are like gold dust. I certainly don't invite just any raggamuffin. And now, when I deem to invite a few raggamuffins to drink vodka and sit in my kitchen listening to me talk for a few hours, the ungrateful scuts don't even respond! I am at a loss. Utterly without hope.

Speaking of hopeless losers, would you like to come to my party on Saturday? It's free in (before midnight) and if you behave, I'll let you sit next to me and brush my hair.

7 comments:

ChrisClark said...

Well, being a hopeless American loser, and therefore quite far away, and not being entire sure if the you to whom you are speaking is the general reading public of your blog or some particular you that you expect is readying, I must say that I would come, if I were part of that you that you are addressing, especially because I am never invited to parties, except that I can't afford a plane ticket to visit my friend in Cambridge, so it would be awfully bad of me to scrounge money together to go to a party of someone who I only know through their blog when I won't even do the same for a friend I've had since high school.

Hmm... what a silly rambling boy I am

Linus said...

I think advertising for friends on the internet is desperately sad. DESPERATELY.
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Damn.

Linus said...

HA! Crticising me in a vain attempt tio make your own life less drab! Shame on you MS. Aughney. And just because I got a online questionnaire and that's the only thing I 've mentioned doesn't make it the only thing that happened. My life is replete with incident, Ms. Aughney! Replete!

Chris Cope said...

If there's hair-brushing and booze involved, I AM THERE!

Voodoolady said...

Lucy, both myself and mossy were a little miffed having not being personally invited to your party. I know that I did tell you that we would be in Dublin for the weekend but what about before that eh? Hmph.

Anonymous said...

I once got 'dumped'-didnt happen too often I hasten to add. Anyway, to 'get him back', my flatmate and I invited him to a party in our flat and got some people to tell him it was going to be fab and there would be loads at it. On the night of the 'party', my flatmate and I were in the dark, drinking away waiting for yer man to ring the bell. The idea was for him to come to the 'party' and not to let him in. Thing is there was no 'party' we just wanted him standing there with egg on his face.
We're still wondering why he didnt show...now, how sad is that

Lucy said...

Eh, excuse me? I was not dumped. I merely have a shitty bunch of acquaintances. Recant!