Monday, August 08, 2005

Aughney sisters are notoriously classy

L: Good morning, Burt
B: Oh, hey...
L: ...
B: Are you, er, mad at me?
L: Hmm? Why would that be?
B: Well, er-
L: What possible reason could I have to be angry at you, eh, Burt? Why on earth would I be pissed off with you? Disgusted, shocked and alarmed at the disrespect and shame you have heaped on my family, even? Enraged and fuming at your drunken antics maybe?
B: Er...
A: Maybe it's cos he snogged your sister last night.
L: Thank you, Aoife.

B: Listen, she was coming on to ME. And she was twisted.
L: Yeah, well, she'd have to be wouldn't she. To be in to you, I mean.
B: She was all over me, I tried, er...
L: WHAT?! Are you saying my sister is a slapper?!
B: Well, to be honest-
L: Burtenshaw, I will kick your arse if you step over that line!
B: Right okay, but I totally pushed her away after a minute!

L: ...! YOU rejected MY sister! You don't know what you're doing, shithead. Nobody rejects an Aughney.
B: No, no- she's a lovely looking girl-
L: Yeah, I know she is, fucker! She's my sister! She's savage!
B: Yeah, that's what I'm saying, but I pushed her away cos I know you'd be mad. I knew it wasn't cool.
L: It's not.
B: No.
L: No.

B: So... are we okay? Are you still mad?
L: What do YOU think?
B: What if I bought you a pint tonight?
L: ...
B: Two pints?
L: Go on then.


Anonymous said...

what??????? Sally kissed burt?????????!!!!!

Chris Cope said...

I, too, can be had for two pints.

Lucy said...

"I, too, can be had for two pints."

What a coincidence! That's what I'm getting tattoed on my forehead next weekend!

Curly said...

Lucy, this is much better than anything Eastenders can come up with! Love it.

Anonymous said...

youe such a bitch

BURT said...

sorry meant to say YOUR a BITCH

Voodoolady said...

My oh my. Sad I missed that night out.