Friday, May 06, 2005

Clanger!

Poor old Lucy! Left standing in the rain outside Central Bank for fifteen minutes by heartless Joanne last night! 'So sorry!' panted Joanne. 'Couldn't find spot to park!'
'Now look here!' said Lucy. 'What, may I ask is the meaning of this mistreatment? My shopping bag, it is soggy! And my hair, it is curly! And my cigarettes, they are all gone!'
'Do you think my car will get clamped before seven?' wondered unfeeling Joanne. Lucy drowns sorrows (and Joanne) in Liffey. Joanne nonplussed.

Many hours later, Lucy stumbles home. Immaculate blonde girl sitting on couch. Insult to injury! 'Lucy, this is Ciara' presents Burt.
'Ahhh. Hello Sarah' nods Lucy. Sarah?! Sarah is old girlfriend! Burt in massive rage. Lucy eats bread and falls asleep fully clothed.

3 comments:

stephenesque said...

Maybe "poor old Lucy" should pull her finger out and write another post, eh.
And by the way, you should never eat bread before you go to sleep because it's fattening.

Lucy said...

Did you just call me fat? That's rather rude.

stephenesque said...

No. I didn't call you fat. But you will be if you keep eating bread at night. Mark my words, I've seen it happen to others and it's not pretty!