Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Lucy: Boyfriend Substitute

It's a good time to be single. Thanks to the fragility of the modern relationship I am going to REM on Sunday and to a wedding in September. This is due to people having deadbeat boyfriends who unwisely have bust-ups just before the summer starts and leave their girlfriends shivering in the cold light of singledom. Fortunately for them, Lucy is here to extend a caring arm and embrace these innocent females. And attend events that their boyfriends had promised to go to! Excellent. The wedding is not just any old weddding though: it is in ROME which is in ITALY. And REM is on in Ardgillan Castle which is in...Louth? Is it? Not quite as thrilling as Italy, but close. The Corrs come from Dundalk, don't you know.

Last night I met Annie for a drink in Doyles at College Green (AKA My New Favourite Pub due to the free pints they were giving out last Friday). As I am broke, I made one pint last two and a half hours. Nice. 'I'm going to REM on Sunday' I bragged.
'Nice,' she said, 'who's supporting?'
'OOh, Devlins and Moby and... somebody.'
'Moby, eh? Cool. You probably won't like him though.'
'Why not? I like cool stuff.'
'Not dance music. You don't like that, do you?'

Now, I object to this. Of course I like dance music! Have you seen me tearing up a dancefloor lately? And I own a FatBoy Slim album for Gods sake! And who was the first one to cotton on to The Streets? That's right- me! All the way back in 2003, before everyone jumped on the 'Woah, isn't Mike Skinner shit-cool' band wagon. I started that band wagon, man. Also, I got Norah Jones before she charted. Less proud of that one, obviously.


Chris Cope said...

I invented hip hop.

Mossy said...

Firstly, Moby is not dance music. He is not classed anywhere near that.

Don't ask me to class it tho, cuz i don't know, but it's not dance.

Anonymous said...

Hi lucy
Since you have pointed out that you are my boyfriend sub for REM does that mean we get to do other boyfriend girlfriend stuff? As I pointed out before im open to this as Im offically a lesbian. Men SUCK!!!!

Anonymous said...

Lucy, You were the ONLY option! Never a substitute always a prosti.. Never mind. Everyone knows Im not actually paying you to come to Rome. Dont they?