On Friday night I arrived a bit late at Claire Doyle's birthday party. Claire and Joanne were both VERY drunk. 'Would you like to see my new bra?' asked Joanne politely before immediately showing me her breasts. 'Oops, must've slipped off! It's one of those backless ones you see.' These bra accidents reoccurred intermittently throughout the evening.
'Did you see she mentioned me on her blog the other day?' shrieked the Mitten one.
'Not by your actual name though, Joanne, so it doesn't count.' hissed Claire disapprovingly.
'I forgot to get you a present,' I mumbled, 'Here, I got you this bag of jellies instead'. This was a lie. I had not forgotten, I had merely failed to retain enough money to buy her anything. Easily done.
Both paused in their quaffing of mugs of wine to purse their lips at my jellied offering. 'I DON'T think so.' sniffed Claire.
'Tell you what, you can mention me on your site and we'll call it quits.'
I was delighted. Blogging is FREE. So happy birthday, Claire. And happy boobday, Joanne. May you both have many, many more.