Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I have an amazing story to tell you, one that will change your life and how you view the world!

Ah...

Forgotten it. Nevermind, it'll come back. The good ones always do. Anyway, I've been reading a lot of books lately. Or buying them and stacking them beside my bed in case anyone comes in to photograph me. Point is, there is always somewhere to rest my glass of wine. Aha. Novels these days though, they let me down. I recently read this book a friend of mine had loaned me and it was terribly gripping and I read it until two in the morning. Two! Then, overcome with the joys of reading and the thrilling thrust of the storyline, I texted this friend and berated her for not telling me the main character AND NARRATOR had died. Then, funnily enough, it turned out she hadn't yet read the book. Hahahaha.

So I am writing my own novel now. I started to write it at the beginning of November and joined this club where everyone was writing a book in November but that got horrendously boring. And limiting. Let me just say, don't join the club I have just mentioned because they send you horrible, encouraging emails telling you not to give up on your book and then THEY ASK YOU FOR MONEY. I have no money. Well, I have, but it's in a place I can't get to it, ie. my bank.

I can't tell you about the book because I can't have you steal the ideas contained therein, and there are so few truly original plotpoints available nowadays that I can't squander such downright excellent ones as those I have now. Suffice to say, the main themes came to me in a dream one night after I'd had a few and the story involves a girl called Martina and a boy named Rob. Rob thinks everyone on the telly is talking to him and Martina is secretly in love with Rob but she doesn't know it yet. I plan to build up the sexual chemistry until it is unbearable and everyone reading just wants to scream 'just sleep with each other, for God's sake! And have adorable children!'. There's something about skiing and a chase sequence when the heroine is wearing really uncomfortable shoes. Then I will kill off a main character in a manner that leaves everyone going 'Wow. Who coulda seen that coming?' But who will I kill off? You'll just have to wait until it hits the shelves in your local booksellers. But be warned, I'm publishing under a pseud...psyeud... false name as I don't want my internet fame to piss all over my book's chances. So you'll just have to scan every book for mention of Martina and Rob* until you find it.

*I may change Rob's name to Angela. I haven't entirely worked out the politics yet.

I've just remembered the amazing story. It's not that good and the punchline needs work. I'll tell you some other time.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I understand they are updating people on my situation and I thought it best to clarify:::
I have NOTHING to be thankful for. Perhaps that is why they created my situation the way it is:::::CHEATED me out of my life, left me with a abjectly devoid existance:::so I am willing to fuck god.
They CHEATED me out of my youth to achieve this distraction on the scale of England's during the 80s and 90s. Unlike theirs mine may have been primarily telepathic. Of course they did both to keep people off the path as the Exodus of 2000 event approached (major event ocurred at end of each revelry cycle (20+-year war-revelry cycles in 20th century)).
The god's positioning is such they sought to create and will achieve tragedy in my situation, likely to create ill will towards the gods (women), a la the "final test", for promises were made and this devolved into a sadistic, depraved situation for a disfavored audience. In many other cases they used me to corrupt others (men and women).
Don't listen. Refuse updates. Much like all aspects of life in the 20th century (sports, TV, music, materialism) they use this to keep people off the path, especially important now that I illustrate it to you, for once you have finished receiving updates you will have forgotten about the path and be sent on your way. That is their goal.
I suspect their threats of "rebirth" are going to come to fruition. Just as they said some sexist men are reincarnated as pigs so can they "reincarnate" people, likely just reverse of clone growth::as they can accellerate clone growth miraculously so can they do the reverse, reuse the body or beem the shrunken brain into a clone host (fetus, infant, toddler) and force the individual to endure life on Earth again.

Anonymous said...

Irish men sign on to the "good 'ole boy's club" paternalistic type of mentality, an archaic dumping ground now designated for the grossly disfavored. It is celebrated in the pubs (a la "peer pressure") and it is used to compel them to feel superior to their women when just the opposite is true.
Up until the past four decades it was the men who filled the prisons, the men who made trouble, the men who caused problems. This is a sign women have the favor of the gods, are the decent and respectable among us. The first step is for the men to be aware of the difference and understand its implications:::females are better people and will get more time because of it.
I recommend you stop engaging in this male-dominated behavior, for these activities exist to hurt the disfavored gender which is why they are targetted towards the men.

Elimare said...

Your blog appears to be attracting new readership Lucy.

Lucy said...

I embrace all readers, even strange racist spammers. And you!