I know you're all DYING to hear about The Party but I lost the cable for the camera so I'm not going to spoil the fun by telling you about it without pictures to sufficiently illustrate the hottness. Suffice to say, it was hott. Also I have a piece of glass in my foot. It's embedded there so it looks like it's staying. How it got there I cannot say but perhaps the photos will answer. Tomorrow, friends. What I will tell you is that Donal forced me to swap shifts with him so he could play stupid hurling and I was late to the party. How horrendous! I had to drink in the shower to catch up.
Which is why I find it interesting, nay, intriguing to hear that Donal got stamped on by a person larger than him during the match and thinks he may have broken his arm. Not that he knows this for sure obviously, as that would require going to one of those stupid hospital things. Instead he went to the pub and screamed like a girl if anyone got too close to his arm. The point is, Donal sinned, making me miss valuable drinking hours to hit a stupid ball with a stupid stick and...well, bad things happened to him. Warning! Fuck with Lucy and God will FUCK YOU UP. If that's not evidence enough for all you non-believers out there then I don't know what you want.
Also, let it be known that if you go around yelling at people to keep away from the barrel of wine you bought yourself because you have a cold sore, you will get called 'The Herpes girl' forever more. Just another one of those life lessons that I had to go through to bring you wisdom.
You're so fucking welcome.