21/01/2002

***********THE*LUCY*AUGHNEY*NEWSLETTER*************

Congratulations!
You are a proud subscriber to my brand new newsletter! whats terrific about it is that it is free! (for now) If you wish to unsubscribe, rack off! I do what i like! If you wish to sign up your friends, cop on! You dont have any friends!

Seeing as this is the first issue of my exciting new publication, i am planning on holding a launching party in my flat in merville in twenty minutes, with a wine and cheese reception. Cant make it? too bad, looks like its just me and the wine then! (the cheese cant make it either)

The content of this issue will be pretty slim as i spent the whole afternoon coming up with this idea so i cant be bothered to think of anything to write about. In fact besides this introduction, the only content will be the newly established LUCY FUCKS UP column, where i depict a humiliating yet hilarious event that occurred today.

******LUCY FUCKS UP******

Well now,
I was on my way in to the Computer block but i was coming at it from the side cos i really like to walk on the grass. theres three wide low steps in front of it, and being the comely and sprightly maiden that i am, i did a little skip and a leap to jump up two of them at once. I think we can all see whats coming.

Instead of landing safely on the top step as i intended to, i kind of fell backwards and in attempting to counter this problem i gave a twist forward, landing on my knees on the pavement. tiny little golden euros had spewed from my jacket pocket while i was airborne, and these now descended upon me in a glittering shower. two girls rushed to picked them up for me and proudly presented me with a handful of 5c and 10c pieces when i dragged my self from the ground.

'thanks' i muttered to which i recieved a shower of mocking giggles as my answer. Ashamed but not beaten i scurried inside where i came up with the terrific idea of telling someone, in fact i decided, why not everyone??

So here it is, my ramblings.
watch this space...