Tuesday, January 08, 2002

08/01/2002

************THE*LUCY*AUGHNEY*NEWSLETTER************

Well,here i am again, mainly because yes, i have no life. That is actually untrue. I have a life i just choose not to participate. I have been getting much feedback from you, my subscribers(what? i hear you mutter; i never subscribed she just started sending me this crap), and im glad to say the majority of it is positive. (well- slightly positive)

****************LETTERS*TO*THE*EDITOR****************
God Lucy, you can tell youre a f**king arts student anyway, youve too much free time on your hands!
Clare King, friend
Lucy, please, if you keep falling up stairs, TAKE THE LIFT!
Rachel Heutson, friend
Why the f**k do you never mention me in the newsletters?
Lynne Kirby, angry person

Ms Clare King also advised me to start a gossip column. However,i believe gossip to be the product of a malicious and petty mind, so i decline to accept this advice. I thought instead a news column would be fitting to raise the intellectual standard of the newsletter. After lenghty consideration i decided that the intellectual standard was a bit too high already for some of you dumbos out there, so instead i am starting a review column. Now. To the reviews, which are both intellectual and informative.

******Reviews*******

THis week i am reviewing burger king eating establishments in the urban Dublin area.

BURGER KING- Lower Rathmines road
An old favourite of mine, chock full of staff too foreign to yell 'hey you! toilets for customers only!' Havent eaten there very often, but the bathroom facilities are most excellent and clean- my only qualm would be that one of the cubicle doors are broken. In the ladies bathroom, obviously. I know nothing about the gents. They might not even have doors.

BURGER KING- Grafton St, North
The tops when it comes to Burger Kings! Only ate there once (food: cold, toilets:smelly), but on that occasion the lovely girl on the cash register SOLD me an EXTRA Lord of the rings toy! Needless to say, i was most touched. I have since stuck said toys to top of telly and they look most pleasant. For those of you that care, they are Arwen and Gandalf. I stuck a small plastic Marvin the Martian up as well, but since he did not appear in the lord of the rings film, i find it unnecessary to mention him here. Oh. just have.

BURGER KING- Grafton St, South
This place i did not like. After purchasing my two LOTR toys from the above establishment, i decided to buy some more. Realising my interest was bordering on an obsession, i went to a different BK further up the street, where they refused to sell them to me. They will not get the opportunity to take my money again. Well, seeing as i dont really like the food in Burger King it was rather silly to attempt to review them as i never eat there! Stupid me!

Well, enjoyable as that was for as all, this is where i get off. A word in parting, however- i got my photos from last Saturday night developped and be warned any of you that wandered by a drunken and wobbly me on that night- i probably have a badly angled, over -exposed shot to bear witness!

Also, to Lynne, my dearest, my reason for living- I would mention you more often but that would defeat the conceited, self- serving purpose of calling it the 'Lucy Aughney' newsletter- duh!

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