I invented blogging, didn't I?

As far as I'm aware, before I entered the blogosphere, the internet was a vapid wasteland of porn and adverts. My arrival to the "internet superhighway" heralded a new age of eloquence, civility and sophistication, an era of intelligent discussion and debate, fairness, equality and mutual respect. ONE WOULD THINK.

I had a substantial bone to pick with my good pal Dave last night when I ran quite accidentally into him: 'DAVID' I growled across the bar when I saw his head. He didn't hear but those close to me shivered with fear. I strode across: "David," I whispered in his ear, "a word".

"David! I thought we were pals!" I said smilingly. "We are pals, Lucy" Dave replied, staring blankly into his pint. "That's what I thought too, Dave, until somebody went about starting his own blog without telling me about it...!" "Right, what happened there was, I wanted to start one, as a New Year's type thing and-"

"Shhh, Dave, shhh." I said, placing a forefinger to his lips. "I forgive you. Just do me one favour, right?"

"Just link to me, alright? Good man. And remember: I'm Tramore's number one blogger. Me. This town ain't big enough for any more, ya dig?"