July 21st, Monday
9.20am Dublin to Abu Dhabi
Feeling: Bit hungover to be honest. Went to a festival all weekend and though I haven't drank since Saturday, didn't sleep Sunday night thanks to beer monkeys*.
Beverages: A glass of wine at 11am from my Ethiad stewardess proves to be 60ml of tepid chardonnay. Two 330ml Heinekens because we're on holidays!
Culture: Fifteen minutes of pulling faces at baby in row ahead of me. Snowpiercer. AMAZING. I have renewed respect for Chris Evans, please don't quit acting Chris. Lego Movie. Awesome, obviously. 40 minutes of classical radio channel to promote nap, non-productive. Wheee, we've landed!
9.40pm Abu Dhabi to Bangkok
Feeling: What? How is it nighttime? It was dawn when I left Ireland eight hours ago. What. Please let me sleep.
Beverages: ONE 330ml beer begged off our retiring stewardess is not enough for six hours, FYI Ethiad.
Culture: 100 pages of Jose Saramago's Blindness. WTF is going on there, I cannot even. I think I'll nap. Oh no wait that's not going to happen. One hour of The Great Beauty. Surprisingly snappy and lush but I am simply not in the mood for thinking or reading subtitles. Three episodes of Silicon Valley, which I have heard great buzz about. I am disappointed. OH THANK GOD, LAND.
July 22nd, Tuesday
10.00am Bangkok to Phuket
Beverages: Water, juice. Bangkok Airways serve us ANOTHER meal, my third in 18 hours of sitting down and doing little else.
Culture: InFlight magazine, cover to cover. FU Saramago. I want to go to Laos now, thanks InFlight magazine. Wait, we're HERE! Let's get on a boat for three hours and drink beer on no sleep, yay!
August 3rd, Sunday
8.30pm Phuket to Abu Dhabi
Feeling: Buzzzzing. Feeling good and well-rested. Bring it, long haul.
Beverages: Air Berlin give you BIG glasses of wine. Me and Sally have two each before retiring for a sleep.
Culture: I suddenly remember my body doesn't believe in sleeping when movies are available so I watch Twenty Feet From Stardom (excellent and well edited) and forty minutes of American Hustle before my headphones break. Boooo, Air Berlin headphones. 6o pages of Curtis Sittenfield's Man of my Dreams. Considerable turbulance over India. Sally told me she loved me while holding my hand and crying.
2.25am Abu Dhabi to Dublin
Feeling: Torrid. Smelly.
Beverages: Excellent. Juice and water when we board and lovely breakfast served four hours later.
Culture: Grand Budapest Hotel. Beautiful and delightful to see Fiennes being arch but ultimately unsatisfying, sorry Wes. Wow, Tilda Swinton can play whoever she likes, can't she. Seven minutes of Divergent. No. I can't. 2/3 of Million Dollar Arm which cut out before we landed. I wanted to see how Jon Hamm helmed something; answer is alright, but end product is slight, formulaic and patronising. Romantic thread is lazy and tired. As am I. I can see Ireland out of the window now. I hate it. Take me back to the East and I will never complain again. Ugh ugh Ireland. Let's get a breakfast roll from a Spar on the way home.
*Beer Monkeys - AKA beer fear, copyright Clodagh Power 2011.