Wednesday, August 23, 2006

My dinner this evening

Gross, you may say, tongue poking sympathetically from your gaping mouth. It is not my fault. I am on a diet. Not because I am fat mind, because I think we can all agree that I am most definitely the purest example of sex itself, but because Mags and Marie said they were doing it and I hate to be left out of anything. Dismiss the fact that Mags weighs about two stone nothing and will need to be hospitalised by tomorrow evening: this diet is only three days long and makes you lose ten pounds immediately. Get that? Immediately. Ignore the fact that I had two slices of turket and some boiled carrots for my tea, point is: I will be so skinny by Saturday. Try and recognise me if you can; I will be the reed-like one getting drunk on half a bacardi breezer. Cos the thinnies can't hold their drink, don't you know.

6 comments:

Voodoolady said...

Ahh I can't believe you're doing it, good luck, it's feckin hard!

Curly said...

Is that a bowl of mayonnaise on the side?

That's a bit cheeky.

Joanne said...

Remember the 'all mush diet' (yes that was the technical term) and you could eat anything as long as it was measured in litres?

It didn't work.

Jenny said...

You do know that diet is pants and when you stop you out the weight back on cos your only losing water weight.

Lucy said...

JEALOUS, JEALOUS OF MY SKINNINESS! ALL OF YIS!

AMS said...

Looks slightly more appetizing than dogfood, only slightly though.