Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Good news!

LUCY: So, Yankee-
SHONA: I'm from Toronto.
LUCY: Yeah?
SHONA:... That's in Canada.
LUCY: [Smiles benignly round at assembled friends to emphasize Shona's stupidity]
Riiiiight, you're "Canadian". Silly me. So anyway I have a question.
[Picks up pack of cigarettes from tabletop and waves these under Shona's nose]

SHONA: Uh, yeah?
LUCY: What do these say to you?
SHONA: You will die before me?
LUCY: Wrong, Yankee, wrong. What do the particular brand say to you?
SHONA: Marlboros? I haven't a clue.
LUCY: Think, American, think! They're Marlboro RED, my friend. Does that particular brand say anything to you AT ALL?
SHONA: ...

LUCY: Cos I've been on the internet and they seem to have a bad rep.
SHONA: A what? I'm lost.
LUCY: [Sighing loudly and rolling her eyes to a painful degree] Okaaaay. The internet tells me that... I'm not sure I can say. It's kind of, um, petty. And bitchy.
MARIE: What's the matter? You never have a problem being a bitch the rest of the time.
LUCY: [Smacks Marie down and grinds her skull with her heel] Well, the internet, he tells me that...
LUCY: That Marlboro have a certain...connotation.

MARIE: A what?
SHONA: A connotation of what?
LUCY: ...Lesbians.
MARIE: What?
LUCY: So, yeah. I'd really like to know, and seeing you're from the States and all-
SHONA: Canada.
LUCY: Whatever, seeing as you're from the States, I thought maybe you could fill me in. ON THE CONNOTATION I MEAN, NOT ANYTHING RUDE OR ANYTHING SHUTTUP AND STOP LAUGHING.
SHONA: Oh. Ohhh. No, I don't think so.

LUCY: Really? I thought it was a well-known fact that lesbians smoked Marlboro? That's what the internet tells me.
SHONA: Well, segregation really isn't encouraged nowadays, Lucy.
LUCY: Yeah but...If you saw this really hot girl (ie. me) smoking a Marlboro would you think 'hmmm, lesbo?', or, like, not. Think that, I mean.
SHONA: I would think 'hmmm, cancer in a stick'.
LUCY: Fuckin' Americans.

1 comment:

Curly said...

I'm stumped on the Marlboro/Lesbian thing too, but I'm not very good at the internet.

I'll ask my American friend from Vancouver.