Monday, February 05, 2007

Was the five o'clock shadow there before?

I honestly don't know where I find the time to do things like this, what with the three jobs and the hectic social life and all (Social life? Where? Catch it!), but somehow I managed to squeeze it in between cleaning my laptop keys and de-linting the washing machine. I give you this. And these, the results. Or, as I like to call it, 'Lucy, if...'. You may call it Ugly-Picture-Post, I don't care. But know that if you do, I won't love you quite as much as I do the other kids.

Here I am, the original hottie. Yes, yes, I know; my beauty has sent you into a tailspin of depression. I get that a lot. There's a reason I'm known around these parts as 'Tramore's resident Goddess'. Also 'Tramore's favourite whory daughter' but that's only in certain very distasteful circles.

Now: Baby Lucy!

Zoinks!, as everyone's favourite dog-detective would say. The cuteness is giving your cavities cavities.

Lucy the younger:

Oh yes. What an adorable (if oversized) brow! Those fabulous blue eyes, how they sparkle with intellect and charm! I can see this child lolling on piano stools with black velvet bows in her hair in some novel. Someone once told me I had an historic countenance, actually. Whether that meant consumptive or just merely 'before the age of cosmetic surgery', I never got to find out.

Lucy the teenager:

Woah. Back, hormones. What's with the ears? Do teenager's ears pop out like that, like Dumbo's? Yeeesh. Stop scowling like that, young wan. Up to your room and read some more Sylvia Plath with ya.

And, brace thy loins, Lucy the Elder:

I can't say this in a nice way so I'll just say it: this looks scarily like my mother.

Now for the nice part: Artists impressions. First, Mucha:

I think I can safely say that Mucha is pretty much my favourite person right now. So pretty! Can I have this one for my driver's licence? Dependent on me actually getting one, obvs.


Dude. I hate that guy.


That guy is so never painting my portrait.

Now the funness. East-Asian:



God, I'm lucky I was born white.

And finally, the one all you ladies have been waiting for, Lucy as a boy:

Wow. I would totally fancy myself if I were a boy. Maybe not in the girly blouse and with all the hair though. Seriously, put your hands up to your monitor and cover up the hair. And, um, the ears. Hubba-hubba. Male-Lucy, I adore you.


Mairéad said...

I'm loving 'Afro-Carribeen Lucy'!! Please adopt this look full time!

Elimare said...

Afro-carribean Lucy may give me nightmares.

Voodoolady said...

Lucy, I think 3 jobs isn't quite enough

Anonymous said...

lucy that shit cracked me up biggie(as you do)style!!!!Will ya do one for me?

Anonymous said...

Have to say I agree with you about your elder picture looking a bit like your mother or perhaps your aunt Bernie!

The really scary bit is that your boy picture looks a lot like your uncle Morgie at a certain age (even leaving in the long hair)....

Scared (and not for the first time at your blog) - Tommy!

Jenny (len) said...

Thank you for finding that site luce, you've just kept me occupied for the whole night...first I spent a half an hour laughing at your faces and then I did mine (lots of times!!)

Lucy said...

"I am beautiful, no matter what you say, words can't bring me down...No, no, no, no!'

Joanne said...

They are so cute! I think I fancy Lucy now!

Anonymous said...

I think you have a great face as you are, full of character and life and obviously judging by your blog you are a good egg and funny and happy, and i like it!
You are so like me, but funnier... bitch! ;)

Anonymous said...

oh i just read my comment and now I've only gone and gotten myself all boomin' paranoid that you will think i was seriously calling you a B when it I was only pullin ya plonka... i think you'll get it.. but just on the off chance we are on diff planets then ...well y' know don't ya... xx bye... anon... ( paper fountain )

Liz Power said...

Lucy that is so freekin scary!!! I was a bit worried for you with da first few faces but the afro carribean and asian faces cracked me up!!!
You seriously need to get out more me thinks!
Ps. I think the first face was definitely da prettiest