What's it even there for?

Sheeesh. You drive onto the kerb a few times and you get this! Talk about your shoddy car manufacturers! Now people stare at me as I rattle round town. And not in a good way. Get over it, people! I'm not staring at your big, ugly-ass head, am I?! No, I'm not. Some of us have manners. And problems gauging distance.

We've all been so blind

Yeah, yeah, I know all you internet nerds have seen this already but believe it or believe it not, there are some people in the universe who haven't. And they all live in Tramore. I don't see what the big deal is. So she wears a wig, so what. So do most lustrous-locked black lady-singers. Though Jamelia might want to lay off the extensions a bit. But what do I know about looking good?

...

Ha, sorry, it's just that I'm so fucking funny some times. So Beyonces human, big deal. This is like that time when someone walked in on me putting on lipgloss in the Vic bathrooms and fainted from the shock. I was all, 'like, hello! So I wear make-up, big deal! I don't wake up looking this good! Jeez!'

Me and B, we're human, just like you. Only a better-looking human.

PS: Also she's thirty-two, which I most patently am not. So I win this round, Knowles.