I Cant Stand the Rain

God, it's wet. I am not really a person who minds the rain in general, mainly because I don't spend nearly enough time on my appearance to care about it getting spoilt, but also because I am quiet a pathetic soul at heart and crave the kind empathy one can share with a bus shelter full of equally wet people. Also I am not much of a conversationalist and relish the weather playing up so I can bellow cheerfully about it to acquaintances and co-workers in lieu of actual attempts at small talk. But this isn't about me. It's about you!

Or whoever posted that mildly insulting comment here the other day. I stumped home merrily in the rain last night, the property section of the Indo held over my head to avoid drowning and to provide a marker for my rescuers should I happen to tumble down a drain. After arriving home and cleaning the newsprint off my forehead, I waited patiently for young Aoife to wander in with young Grainne, both of whom have decided that Thursday night is now 'Lucy night'. 'Lucy night' consists of getting slightly jarred and laughing derisively at Lucy for the entire evening. Wonderful fun, tickets available at the door.

I hate rain competitiveness. 'We got soaked!' gasped Aoife, falling in the door an hour later.
'So did I.' I groused.
'We had to walk out in the road to avoid a massive puddle and almost got killed by passing cars!' said Grainne proudly.
'I fell into a puddle and started screaming "fuck!" at it, really loudly and this old lady gave me a dirty look!' I countered.
'We got drenched by a bus!'
'Two buses!'
'Three, and we nearly dropped the vodka!'
I gave up. Sometimes the sign of a true victor is in knowing when you're beat. Or something equally life-affirming.

'Someone posted a really mean comment on my blog today.' I announced sadly a short while later. Gra and Aoife glanced up from their pint glasses of vodka and coke.
'Really? What did it say?'
'Something about me being an insulting bitch. And pious, for some reason.'
'Pious? You? Hardly!'
'Yeah, that's what I thought.'

'You should write back and abuse them and tell them to keep their nose out of your fucking blog!' advised Gra.
'That' I said regally. 'Would be lowering myself to their level.'
'Ahh.' They said, and nodded appreciatively and looked on me with awe.

Yeah right. More like stared at me for a moment before returning their attention to their glasses. I sighed internally and went back to trying to stick post-its to my eyelids. I know my place.