SIGH! That, for all of you who have never experienced it, was a virtual sigh. Feel the puff of air washing over your from the computer screen? No? Your Sigh software must not be correctly installed then.
**Letters*to*the*editor**
Lucy, is it only a coincidence that your newsletters only start up around the time when you SHOULD be studying for your exams?!
Marie Connolly, scarily astute young woman
Your newsletter is so cool, I thought you were cool before but now...wow! By the way, what does fellatio mean?
Aishling McIntyre, flatmate and newest recruit to the Lucy Aughney fanzine, oops, newsletter!
Gosh you're having a lot for dinner, you must be really hungry!
Emma D'Arcy, flatmate eile. Shut up, sh*thead.
When is she going to shut up about her f**king history lecturer?
Entire readership of newsletter, communicated subconsciously.
**Dealing*with*the*younger*generation**
The desire to astonish and be astonished is very proper.
Salon of 1859: The Modern Public and Photography, Charles Baudelaire
I have recently discovered there is a limit to my knowledge of the world. Passing the time of day with my seventeen-year old cousin at a frankly excruciating family gathering, I was suddenly struck with a desire to impress her impressionable young mind.
'I live in Dublin, you know.' I said in an offhand manner to indicate how terrifically aimless and careless the life of a student is.
'Yeah, its a sh*thole, isn't it?' she chuckled jocularly.
Crap, I thought, she's got me on the run.
'I was up there last weekend', she went on. 'With my band. We were busking with some mates.' What the f*ck? This child was cooler than I was.
'Really? That's great. What do you play? I play the tin whistle you know' I said in a desperate attempt to regain some territory.
'Wow' she said nodding. 'That's cool.'
'Well, not really you know, all I can play is Danny Boy.' I hurried to amend. 'And Mary had a little lamb'.
Dig, dig, dig.
'Well, you know those are the...eh, classics.' she said, nodding vehemently.
I could not believe it. Was this child mocking me?
'I play guitar.' she added, getting a grip on her sudden fit of giggles.
This I felt at home with. I knew guitars. I knew that acoustic were the woodeny ones that students have and that Marie has been threatening to buy for the last three years, and that electric were the colouredy ones that had to be plugged in. Sorted. My maturity and worldly knowledge would finally triumph.
'Bass guitar' she said.
Ah crap, what the hell is that?!
**Horrible*things*people*say*to*me**
Meeting my enchanting young Wexford friend Claire today for a wee snackola, I was frankly stunned to hear her greet me with; 'God you looked wrecked, were you out or something?'
Bleating my excuses (Its the flush of love! Its the stress of exams! Its because I stayed up late watching Boogie Nights on TG4 waiting for yer man to get his lad out!) which she duly ignored, she went on 'God, you sound terrible too- have you got a cold or something? Are you sick? you look sick!'
Instead of protesting by pointing out that I am an extremely stressed final year student with better things to be doing than looking good, and anyway, looking good was a most grievous form of female oppression, damn the man, I succumbed. 'Yeah I know.' I sighed. 'Its just, well... im really depressed cos Paradise Hotel wasn't on last night.'
'There, there' she comforted as I sobbed on her shoulder. 'Dont worry, no one watched that stupid soccer match anyway.'
'But Claire,' I looked up at her with red eyes. 'What about Charla and Dave? Why cant those two kids just get it on? Theyre so right for each other!'
'I know sweetheart, I know' she said, nodding sadly in agreement.
**Talkin*bout*a*revolution**
This morning the refill pads I purchased turned out to have blue margins instead of the customary red ones! Good grief, what will they think of next?! Also I bought a black pen, put it in my pocket, and now there are two. Do they breed? What is up with the universe?! And in addition, I just did the pullability test the lovely Ms Hynes just sent me and I am only 15% pullable as a girl, but 51% pullable as a boy! A scary thought...
**Word*of*the*Day!**
Retromingent
Definition: To urinate backwards (adj.)
Usage: As term of admiration or scorn, depending on your point of view(and which direction you're facing).
**Aimless*ramblings*also*known*as*lucy*cant*think*how*to*end*this*thing**
One monkey don't stop the show, so get on board.
One Monkey, Gillian Welch
Is anyone getting bored of me yet? Cos I am. Why doesn't anyone tell me to cop myself on and do some work? Does nobody CARE that Im going to fail my finals? FINISH IT! What song is that from? God, Im sad.
